and for the women who found themselfs reading this post (cos we got some rules too!):


1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because
the house was spotless.

2. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

3. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

5. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

6. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them
all there.

7. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

8. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let out
alone.

9. The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't
dance or buy drinks.

10. Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.

11. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature
anyway.

12. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump
is unquestionably gay.

13. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you
can tell them apart.

14. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity
to make some woman miserable.

15. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the
do-it-yourself types.

16. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they
are too old for it.

17. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

18. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

19. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40
years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for
directions.

20. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him
cheque books.

21. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually "oh alright,
I'll stay the night."

22. Women sleep with men, who if they were women, they wouldn't
even bother to have lunch with.

23. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means you laugh at his.

24. If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just
practicing.

25. Sadly, all men are created equal.

26. When he asks you if he's your first, tell him "you may be,you look familiar."


XD

damn 8 to 26 rules

Rule # 9
don't talk about your cats xD

everyone knows women only care about material things

well said glimmer

A few extra rules for women to know.....

1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Saturday/Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!


13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

15. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

23. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

24. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

More rules...

#1 If you want it done put it on a list men don't see the dirty laundry, the dishes that need doing or the trash that needs to be emptied

#2 "Nobody cries in baseball"

#3 If you want us to cook it's an event that has to be planned not TV dinner in the microwave

#4 Male dogs know where to stick their noses

#5 Pajamas aren't sexy, negliges are know the difference

#6 Women's farts smell just as bad as a mans does

#7 Doing make up in a car at a stoplight is called farding not farting men do know the difference!!

#8 Directions are for pussies a real man loves to explore

THank you very much laughed my ass off

Very Funny ...